11.16.02

Ok, *finally* got to make an entry here that is more than a paragraph!  I've just added 78 pics, as I don't want to make an entry without announcing some kind of update of material as well!  These were the second part to the "scarlet red" photo shoot of Kitty.  She is one hell of a hot, sexy supersized woman that I am still so impressed with!  These pics reveal another look of Kitty's, much closer to her "regular" look.  She started out being a bit discreet, creating a different look from her regular every day look just for the sake of staying somewhat mysterious.  This became more of a burden to her than either of us would have realized because she was so much more comfortable without some of the props used to achieve that different look!  In this latest 2 updates, both parts of the same shoot, she is showing off her natural look, and it is such a hot, sexy look that the later part of the shoot shows just how arousing it can be to take pics of this woman!  There are some oral shots included in the latest update that are so amazing!  She has the sexiest green eyes and to watch them gazing up while she's doing something that she does almost too well is an experience that is my pleasure to capture even if just for the sake of reminding *myself* of just how hot and sexy this amazing woman is!

I've been quite busy in the last few days, or I should say 2 weeks!!!  I was able to make an update to the site on 11.9.02, for which I made such a pitiful journal entry here!  There was so much going on, and since that entry I've done at least 2 camshows, both of which were actually done in the past 2 days.  Tonight was the second one, but I was so hyped to finally add some stuff to the site that I didn't let myself climax and haven't passed out!!!  Candy is here over the weekend, and while it is such a pleasure and priviledge to get to host her as a visitor, she has graciously given me some time to make an entry here and add some new stuff that she knows I've been dying to add to the site!  Having that first part of that hot shoot of Kitty was just too much for me to handle when I began to realize it had been up there all by itself for almost a week!  I have also done 2 camshows previously with Stori, as they were pretty incredible, but because Stori had a birthday there were a few days spent away from the computer hanging out with her to get some stuff done for her that she had been waiting on.  Working full time and trying to keep up with all the things that come up and have to "get done" is quite a struggle at times, and that is the *only* reason for the number of days passing since the last update!  I feel trully denied when I don't have a chance to add some of the seriously sexy material to the site that I have accumulated, and time has been pretty rough on me, but I'm going to make it a point not to let this kind of time pass again without keeping things "up to date" on here!  I was given a few details to take a look at by Kitty, and with the addition of her new pics to the site I've got to go back and make some smaller changes, but for now I just could not wait to add this second set any longer!  These pics really do show off such a sensual side to Kitty.  She's a very sexual woman, and it's amazing to see it come through in the pics I have the pleasure of taking!

Besides Stori having a birthday that actually went right with the timing of one of the camshows, there has also been the visit from Candy, and while she's been here for a few days already, time is flying because so much of the past 2 days have been spent at work!  I also had a visit from a potential new model, which gave me the chance to show off some of the material I've created, and also afforded me the opportunity to get to know a woman that could end up showing off in the member's area of hotbbws.com!  She's from a few hours away, but she's expressed a real interest in coming by to do some pics now that she's had the "initial interview" and has gotten to know more about me and what I'm trying to accomplish.  That took another day away from my being able to do an update, as I spent so much time going through some of the past pics I've taken, and then of course I had to give my whole philosophy on the site and what really motivates me to do it.  She was really impressed with it all and from an email I've gotten just today I'm sure that she is much more serious about modeling than I might have given her credit for earlier myself!

There was a visit to another "non model" friend who had me take a quick look at a laptop computer, and I was able to fix one problem and figure out the cause of another.  Ths surprised me because I never really work on laptops, but because of some similarities it is sometimes possible for me to get a few things fixed here and there as long as I'm not taking them apart!  This woman is a smaller, pear shaped bbw who has tattoos and a really heavy duty sexuality, but she's totally shy when it comes to taking pics... She can sit and watch an HBO "real sex" show and talk about how she would "do serious make-up for HBO" while seeing the natural look of some of the people on the program, but she doesn't even see the possibility of taking a few pics for my site!  She does enjoy being a little kinky, getting spanked and fucked hard while bent over, being pulled apart and shoved forward by the pressure of the impact while doing it doggy style, but she don't want no part of no pics!!!  I was kind of teased a little, given a little bit of hope and a "well, maybe" by this woman when she was tempting me to come over, but of course once I'm there she's kicking back watching HBO's "real sex", drinking wine, and talking about how she hasn't gotten fucked really hard in such a long time... I am always grateful for the way my anatomy played out, and how I've given myself the ability of "control of climax" and love the vaginal penetration aspect of sex.  There are times though when the "blessing and a curse" saying comes to mind...  This was the same woman that I mentioned a few months back, tempting me to come by the house and take a look at her desktop computer, and I went over there and actually *looked at the computer* and then talked my head off for a few hours until she was tired and ready to go to bed kicking me out!  I didn't let anything happen then, but this time I thought *maybe* she might have a change in heart, feel kind of kinky, and say "hey, let's go ahead and take  some pics..."... But... she didn't...  That took away yet another evening where I was too tired to work on the site and just passed out when I got home.  While the woman I mentioned previously did show a definite interest in modeling, I feel that it was worth the sheer time involved just talking with her about it and showing her past work.  This other woman though... There was a tiny glimmer of hope, but over-all I should know better!  I think I just had to prove something to myself because the last time I saw this woman I spent the evening *talking* instead of doing what she wanted me to do!

There was another visit to a friend of mine that I am being drafted by to help her move next week as well... She's got a hot shape, very full, round thighs, and a smaller mid-section with "perky" D cup breasts... While this is a hot "plumper magazine" look, she's still fighting her catholic upbringing when it comes to doing any kind of modeling for the site!  The closest so far I've gotten to tempting her is by saying she could have an ad for a phone psychic listing on keen.com through my site, but even the idea of taking some pics to make her out as the "sexy bbw psychic" isn't enough for me to lure her into showing her sexy look off for my camera!  By this time, if anyone is actually keeping track, this makes *3 non model* events in the past 2 weeks... I've started see where hanging with the non models is hurting my ability to keep up with the things that I *want* to do with the site!  I've made progress in the respect of having the initial interview with one real potential model, but the other 2 bbw's that I've interacted with in the past few weeks have actually hurt more than helped I think.  While at least one of them is very supportive and gives me some council and guidence about a few things at times (she's psychic, and i know i'm nuts), I still feel the pressure in the back of my mind when we do rarely get together to be "doing something" that will help me to keep on track with this site!  I'm getting there though, instead of adding 3 or 4 hundred pics at a time, I'm going for the smaller 100 pics or less additions, every few days.  This way I can balance the creation of the content with actually adding it to the site!

While I just counted "3 non model events" in the past week, I failed to recall one more friend of mine in the process because she caught me really early on!  There is a friend of mine that I've known for over ten years who I've finally gotten to take pics of, totally nude pics... But... She still doesn't want to be published... She came over, completely by surprise, announcing that she "just broke up with the boyfriend" and needed some support, as well as catching up on the serious kind of pounding she would endure when we would get together as long as ten years back!  It's so hard to "just say no" to this woman when I've known her for so long, and she was really distressed about recent developments in her life.  While I hate to sound ungrateful for getting it to begin with, my addiction to sex itself has certainly gotten me into some tight spots in the past!  This is one woman from my past that will appear, disappear, and re-appear again just as suddenly!  She doesn't even want to *talk* about the site and the things I would like to display her doing, much less participate in it!  I'm lucky in the fact that all of these events took place on evenings shortly after I would get home from work at almost 9pm anyway, so while I did miss out on making an update here and there I was able to "keep up" with the people from my past that happened to pop up in the last few weeks, while at the same time exploring possibilities in having these very people participate in *this* part of my life!  I have experienced mixed feelings since starting up the site about how I was ready to give up on any kind of otherwise "regular" social existance for the sake of creating new content and finding those people interested in participating, but some of the "ghosts from my past" always seem to come back one right after another, and I am tempted to fulfill their needs at times for the sake of trying to keep the "network open" just in case a change in heart takes place somewhere along the line and people make the leap and give me a chance to show off pics I've already taken, or at least let me take the very first set of pics to begin with!

The most recent woman I met up with who isn't a model had the most serious intent on doing it, and for that I'm grateful because she would be yet another sexy supersized beauty who is totally new to the web and has never modeled for *anyone* before, much less appeared on a website!  That effort was so well worth the investment of time, and while I might have been most likely to work on the site if I hadn't had that first meeting, it was just a few days ago so this update was held up just as much by the 2 camshows with Candy just performed as it was by that meeting.  In fact, that meeting had to take place on one of my days off, and then the next day off I had I was driving out to Candy's place to pick her up and we went right into more content creation for a project that we wanted to get some work done on.  Now we've done the second show in two days, and I'm finally able to make the update anyway, as Candy is passed out on the bed behind me!  As I rattle off the details of the past few weeks I probably feel such conflict about having these unexpected meetings with the "non models" because the sexy, super-sized subject of the most recent update still awaits and is ready to come over once we iron out plans!  I talked with Kitty about coming out while Candy was still here, and I've neglected to even begin to try to plan to get together with her because Candy and I had so much to do before we even thought about dragging Kitty over to have her "waiting" on us to finish this or that!  I'm going to make it a point to contact her though, but it's like late friday night (early sat morning) and I know *damn well* that I should give this woman more notice if I'm really serious about getting her over here!  I have to wonder if I'm really stuck in a "one at a time" mode right now, because something else very interesting has come up that I haven't even gotten the chance to go into yet!  There was some serious work for me and Candy to do though, like complete the editing of a video compilation that another sexy webmistress wants to distribute and will pay Candy for, and then picking out 100 pics for yet another very sexy webmistress that wants to feature Candy on her site too!  The creation of that special compilation video was time consuming, and took a few hours of one of my off days that kept me from the site, but picking out 100 "hardcore" pics will be trickier because I am trying to figure out how to pick that many that don't look too similar!  Almost done it though!  I want to get Kitty over here so badly too, it's really taken a toll on me to watch how the days have disintigrated one after another, this or that coming up, every off day needed to plan something that could only happen during the hours I would otherwise be at work.  But... with so much needing to be done I just couldn't drag her out... not just yet...  While she is such an awesome looking woman who takes some damn sexy pics, I want to be able to devote time and attention to her when she comes out and not have her *waiting* on something else that I am forced to do or have going on!

The other most recent development, that I have found really wild, is that the model "Flame" recently approached me about a more "casual" get together, not bringing the camera out!  There was a mention of trying out the 3 way thing with her and her live in boyfriend, which I'm about to embark on if only the time comes up!  She suggested this almost 2 weeks ago, and while I've anxiously awaited the chance to plan it I just haven't been able to make it happen!  Just when I thought it might be wild to have Candy come over and take some pics of the action, Flame suggested against it, wanting to first experience the 3 way thing "naturally" without capturing the experience at all, and *then* the next time we got together I would be taking pics... I know that it would be almost *painful* for me to think that this is a signed model, and I'm in a hot sexy situation with her, and I'm not able to take pics!  There is always "the next time" though, and while this woman is asking about a more casual get together I want to jump right in there because hopefully this would add a new dimension of comfort and chemistry between us.  There is also the chance that her live in boyfriend could jump behind the camera the very next time we all get together and it will be much more comfortable for *me* too!  So, I'm going with the flow, as this is one suggestion that I can really see for what it could help accomplish "down the road".  I'm going to give all the details, accompanied by a more recent shoot of Flame in the process, but it's going to be incredible to get to see this hot sexy woman again!

Ok, I'm going to draw an end to this entry, but just had to bring up some stuff that had been building up lately... I really enjoy every opportunity I get to interact with other people, and experience the variety of intimacy in the process.  Since starting this site up though with such a serious effort and the time I've already put into it, there is subtle conflict going on though about how I need to do certain things with such regularity to stay "loyal to the cause".  The times when I have been distracted from working on this site have come at a definite cost in the progression of the site, but in the strategy to do smaller updates more often, I'm able to slip in a few hours here and there and still have time to work full time *and* create new incredible content *and* keep up with some of the friendships with people that started sometimes years before this site was even a concept.  I've still got the giving nature that allowed me to give way too much of myself to someone else in the past, but this time there are a precious few who not only support my efforts but actually participate in this with me because it is their fantasy too.  I'm so lucky to have people around me like Kitty, Candy, Flame, and yes, Stori.  I haven't talked too much about Stori and the distractions that have come up that involve her most recently, but she has provided such regular intervals of her time in doing the camshows weekly that I have to be grateful to have had the chance to include her as well.  I can't fail to mention Opal though!  I was able to attend a halloween party over at her place recently, and thinking back that was the last time Candy was out here before she came this time.  She had a really good time, as I was able to talk more with Opal and catch up, she was meeting and getting really friendly with one of the other guests at the party!  I was just able to talk to her today over the phone, and she has been able to give me some ideas on how to use the balloons, and she has expressed a definite interest in working with them herself!

Ok, this is getting to be a book here!  In talking about the "non models" I don't give excuses, only try to catch up with what's been going on and how hectic things have seemed for me lately.  When I created the site I thought it would limit the casual interaction I would have with "new people" but then I could not anticipate how some of the people in my past were going to need me for this or that in the past few weeks!  There is so much I want to do, and I'm actually able to get to it in this "sooner or later" kind of way, but it still frustrates me at times that this is not my "full time job" and I can't devote the time or the resources to this that I seriously want to.  This site is growing at a rate that allows me to continue adding new stuff and buying more space, but it is far from matching my current income, and even when/if that were to happen, I would still need to continue to work just as much to devote even *more* back to the site.  I'm working on one thing at a time, and the most urgent thing that needs my attention, besides becoming more regular with updates to the site, is working on this mess of a truck that is still hauling me and at times Candy back and forth!  There are people that I'm having the chance to interact with that live as far away as Mississippi, in Jackson and Bogalusa, and to get to both of those areas myself I will need to make this truck of mine just a bit more dependable than it has been so far!  I've had a friend move off to FL and then move back just a bit closer and she has also expressed an interest in being on the site, but it's going to be tricky planning to get together with her because it has to be on a weekend when she has the place she's staying at to herself.  She's told me about the atmosphere there though and I would love to work with the surroundings!  I'm going to work on getting Kitty back in here first though!  She's such a sexy woman and I'm really so very fortunate to have had a chance to feature some of the pics of her on the site.  I've taken so many pics of this lovely woman and it's such a pleasure to know that she is turned on by showing them off!  I'm probably going to be announcing a few more updates to her section, as there are some more pics that I've had the pleasure of taking of her that I still haven't been able to add yet, and there are a few more ideas that she has about pics that I know will be so hot!

Before I really do write a book here I'm drawing this entry to a close!  Certainly makes up for the way too short entry last time though!  I am sure some of the things I've mentioned in this update did occur even before the last entry, but I simply did not have time to finish the entry I wanted to make then!  I was being drawn away even as I created that last update, and I'm grateful to Candy that she is able to "release the computer" and let me have the time I need to add some new stuff to the site, but then again, she's seriously passed out!  You know, there is this one other thing... I met a woman on Aug 1 and talked to her about modeling, and she seemed *really* positive about it because she had already experimented with a "webcam" before, and she was aroused and excited by some of the compliments she got.  Looking at this woman you would never think of her as an exhibitionist, because she's 50+, and has a very conservative look at least when she's working.  She has very long hair that she keeps in a ponytail, and she's very top-heavy with smaller thighs and a full, round stomach.  I met her way back in the beginning of august, and talked to her about the site, and even gave her a card.  I only just saw her for the second time just today, and when I talked to her she implied that she was disappointed that she had not heard back from me!  I had to stress to her that I was so used to people being scared off if I came on too strongly that i was waiting on hearing back from *her*!  In this back and forth she told me that she was going to be really busy for the next 2 weeks, but that she seriously wanted to get together with me in the beginning of december... We'll see... She had to have at least an F cup, and a look that would make you think she was *not the type* to model for a site!  So, while she's done some amature stuff with the webcam, she would also be an exclusive "never before seen on the web" bbw model as well... I just had to mention her because seeing her for the second time, and then having her tell me that she expected me to "come after" her more, was just another reminder of how I've let too many leads go for the sake of keeping up with things and people that will never play a part in this project.  All of these smaller events really have helped me to imagine how I can balance it all and really keep track of who wants to do what and when.  I'm getting a grasp on it though, and with this entry here and the addition of the new pics, I'm inspired and energized all over again... will have to wake candy up about now! Ok, it's time to go, will not ramble like this again in the next entry because it's all going to be commentary on the incredible stuff I get to add to the site next time!

Help this member supported site survive and subscribe!